Things I don’t care about…

…and that are taking up valuable page (written and virtual space) today:

1. Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have gone their separate ways.  Amicably, of course.  Did anyone even know [or care] they were still dating?  I guess we should give them credit for staying together as “long” as they did. 
2. Kate Gosselin, per this week’s cover of People, feels like she failed.  I feel like she feels vindicated and is using the failure moniker as a means of getting more attention and sympathy.  But maybe that’s just me. 
3. Angelina’s dad (come on, Jon Voigt, you’re better and smarter than this, no?) thinks she’s sexy.  And has things in common with Megan Fox…like they’re both attractive.  And both are in action movies that are in theaters right now.   And both, as Megan so astutely remarked, also have dark hair and tattoos.  Um, ok. 
4. Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas sang a duet in Texas.  Whoop. De. Doo.  But, it was kind of awesome how his brother (I don’t know which one…Joe?  Kevin?)  totally sold him out on Larry King last week. 
5. Perez Hilton got “punched” by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas at the Much Music Awards in Canada over the weekend and is now going to sue.  Apparently, a bunch of other stuff went down beforehand.  But, come on Perez–if you can’t take what you, yourself, give out on a daily basis, maybe you should reconsider your “career” as a “celebrity” blogger.  (And for once, I like what John Mayer had to tweet:  “Today, the fourth wall came crashing down,” John Mayer Tweeted. “Mario, you are human.”
6. Ashlee Simpson’s pet name for her husband Pete Wentz is “Petenut Butter.” 
7. I’m glad they were born safely and without complication (remember last week?  How some police officers tried to break into the surrogate’s house and steal voice mail messages from SJP?  Yeah, well, another thing you probably didn’t care about.) but their names?  Marion (I think of Happy Days) and Tabitha (Bewitched, anyone?).   What is this, the 1950s?  Do they really need that many names?  And, forgive me, I still see Ferris Bueller and Janey–an unlikely set of parents. 

And, yes, readers:  I do realize that in writing about all of these things I obviously care enough to tell you I don’t care.  But inspiration has been lacking lately, so please forgive me.