I was perusing www.textsfromlastnight.com earlier and noticed (how could I miss it?) an American Apparel ad for what they were calling thermochromatic shirts (because, obviously, that is a very intellectual sounding description that plays to the intended audience). Hipster boys and girls throughout the land (I’m talking to you, NYC Prep kids, and all of your cronies), back in the 80s (you know, that decade you so wish you were a part of so, now, you’re pretending like it’s back! With a vengeance!), these were called “hypercolor” t-shirts. And they were all the rage.
You know what was fun? To wear them when it was hot outside and let your body heat change the colors. That was rad! Or run up behind your little brother and give him a two handed full press push. Now, it appears as though the “cool” way to get these shirts to do their magic is to wear one and proceed to be fondled by a fellow hipster of the opposite sex (or, an androgynous looking one of the same sex, whatever is easier).
So, since I was already there, I looked around the American Apparel site a little more. At the risk of sounding like an old geezer stick in the mud, I am going to say that even looking at these models annoyed me. Do they think they look cool in their shiny Members Only style jackets? (Speaking of, is a real Members Only jacket considered vintage? Because it’s from the 80s? I’m from the 70s and, while I feel old, I am far from vintage.) They pride themselves on being hip (go figure) and original, but you know they’re sporting those jackets with a pair of Uggs. And a skirt. In the summer.
And OMG, who would’ve thought that clicking the link to view something as innocent as leggings (really, really ugly leggings) would elicit a sliding montage that had some NSFW models?! Yikes!
These fashion choices that litter the American Apparel website were “cool” back when I was a mere tyke because, well, there weren’t any other choices. There are so many choices now, why go with the Jazzercise reminiscent bodysuit (we called them leotards and we wore them to gymnastics and ballet) that would make even make Olivia Newton John cringe? Is it wrong that I just don’t see the appeal in this whole, for lack of a better word, movement? I may be wrong, but I feel like when you try hard to look like you’re not trying hard, when you have the I don’t care/laissez faire attitude emblazoned on your unsmiling face (PC, do you hear me?), you’re portraying quite the opposite. You are being contrary!
And I guess it doesn’t make me any better but, yes, frankly, I would rather throw on a Banana t-shirt, a pair of Lucky jeans, my Rainbow flip flops, and look just like everyone else I know. In a world of hipsters trying to be different and original, my attempt at being the same and unoriginal, in fact, makes me different. So let’s call it a day. A cute outfit, non-pretentious, well-dressed day, no less.