Tag Archives: Annoying People

Restaurant Review: Indigo Landing (nee Potowmack Landing)

The place where only the first syllable of your order matters. 

Shrimp Scampi?  No, SHORT RIBS. 

Hot Toddy?  No, hot peppermint patty. 

Girls’ Night Dinner.  Indigo Landing, a beautiful–though receptiony (maybe because I did actually go to a wedding reception there six years ago?) dining area.  Great view of the Capital building and the monuments and planes landing.  

We’ll start with the fact that the hostess totally checked in a couple and ruined the surprise dinner that was going on IN THEIR HONOR.  They said their name and she said, “someone called about that last night…and said it was a surprise.”  Clearly, the couple to be surprised was the couple standing in front of me.  FAIL. 

The menu has a lot of choices on it, which was nice after coming off of Restaurant Week (more about that in another post).  

We studied the menu and made our decisions.  We ordered a bit hesitantly, as the waitress seemed to be confused by everything we said.  Short ribs turned into shrimp scampi.  In fact, lots of things turned into shrimp scampi.  For a restaurant that had maybe four other full tables, there was no reason to mis-hear anything.  We were all a bit concerned when she left the table, and worried we’d all end up with the damn scampi as our main course.  The waitress came back almost ten minutes later to verify the orders again–without her pad.  Clearly, she had yet to do anything with the order we had already given her. 

We started with an appetizer and some salads.  The calamari was dusted in cornmeal, which was a nice departure from the typical (but delicious) greasy version you get at so many other places.  The fried squid came with a delicious lemon aioli and a hot and sweet pepper dipping sauce, both of which were perfectly seasoned and excellent complements to the otherwise bland (but not in a bad way) calamari.  

My tablemates and I also sampled the wedge salad and the beet carpaccio salad.  The wedge was a bit of a disappointment–the only component that was okay was the fact that the iceberg lettuce was, in fact, in a wedge shape.  It was also, however, a pale shade of green (hovering on being yellow).  The shaved sweet onion that the menu touted were, in fact, soggy rings of regular old white onion (whereas, ideally, they would’ve been nice, crisp, pungent red onion).  The Maytag blue cheese dressing had none of the delicious crumbles of blue cheese that I craved but, rather, was just a watery and milky cover to the poor lettuce.  The four cherry tomato halves did not disappoint except for their scant number.  The beet salad received no complaints.  The thinly sliced beets, wild arugula, citrus, and toasted almonds delivered a fresh, distinct flavor any beet lover would embrace.  There was a plethora of the chevre, which was nice.  The orange sherry vinaigrette provided the perfectly acidic and sweet dressing for the vegetables. 

After we had gotten halfway through these starters, our bread basket finally arrived.  We had only asked for and been promised fresh bread three times at that point.  At least the rolls were hot from the oven.  And served with a very tasty honey butter that was just the right combination of sweet and savory.  Note:  we still had not gotten our glasses of water and the fact we all had other beverages anyway is irrelevant (but what is relevant is that we also asked for, and were promised and denied, iced tea refills).  Note two:  a server other than our own came and cleared our table of the appetizer dishes…before we were done with the calamari and never asking if it was okay to do so. 

On to the main courses!  Luckily for us, substitutions were acceptable (though, as previously stated, we worried that they would not be honored, based on the flightiness of  our server), so we were all able to make tweaks to our selections.  

Those who ordered the scallops were surprised at their size.  Large and well-cooked, these treasures of the sea were about an inch and a half in diameter and about the height of a good old fashioned marshmallow.  Their accompaniments were nothing to write home about.  As one of my fellow diners said, the creamy celery root puree was more like “cold celery mush.”  And the dish, as a whole, came out lukewarm.  Chew on that. 

Speaking of chew…the NY strip was a bit chewy, especially for a cut that is generally tender.  Now, I know that I am used to (and definitely prefer) a filet, so that may be clouding my judgment.  But, that withstanding, the meat was definitely chewier and fattier than I would have liked and than I expected.  And, really, was it necessary to put rosemary on top of the meat?  Rosemary has a way of inserting its flavor into whatever it touches and, unfortunately, it is not a flavor of which I am overly fond.  So that was a bit of a bummer.   My sides of whipped potatoes and madeira sauce were heavenly.  The potatoes were just the right texture, so smooth that I questioned whether they really were potatoes.  

Per instructions, the Thai snapper came out grilled and not fried.  It also came out less than lukewarm.  It did not get sent back, though such a move was contemplated. 

The short ribs left nothing to be desired.  They were perfectly tender and just the right kind of flaky.  The sweet potato puree, while seemingly a tad bit out of season, was an excellent complement to the strong flavors of the accompanying sauce.  The brussels sprouts were good, not great.  A little more crunch than they were tender, they were the red headed stepchild of the entree. 

Once the table was clear of our dinner plates, our server wiped the table down.  With a wet towel.  This kind of grossed me out, but I kept the thought to myself.  

She then offered us an after dinner drink menu.  The Hot Peppermint Patty (a concoction of vodka, hot chocolate, and whipped cream) jumped out at us.  One of my friends ordered it.  She was met with confusion, but pointed her selection out, specifically, on the menu.  What appeared in front of her was a very big departure from what she expected.  What she wanted was warm, cozy, deliciousness.  What she received was a glass of what looked like very weak hot tea.  With a mound of something chunky on the bottom.  Cloves?  Brown sugar?  Who the eff knows.   We ascertained that it must be a hot toddy.  Okay, fine.  Except, no, no it wasn’t fine.  Whiskey and Lipton tea?  Not acceptable.  And, clearly, not hot chocolate.  Yet, this was a notion our server failed to understand and had no desire to comprehend.  Finally, after showing her the selection, again, on the actual menu, we were “rewarded” with what we ordered.  Except, it wasn’t really a reward at all.   This second drink attempt was hot chocolate with whipped cream and whiskey, again!  They really do love their whiskey at this place and/or have a surplus they’re trying to rid themselves of. 

Much like what we suspected of the shrimp scampi. 

After the debacle that was our after dinner drinks, we ventured to try some desserts.  We should have either gotten creme brulees all around or just forgone the calories.  Mrs. Smith has made me a better lemon meringue pie than the one I had last night–the lemon part was gummy and congealed.  While the meringue looked the part, it was ultimately flavorless (though, in its defense, the perfect texture).  And the crust?  Oh, the crust.  Cold and soggy and dis-gusting.   The chocolate mousse was mediocre and looked and tasted more like tiramisu than what it was touted to be.  

All in all, there were good parts and bad parts to the meal.  Sadly, most of the good parts had to do with the company and our ability to entertain ourselves with conversation and the shenanigans of the restaurant staff.  I can’t say I’d go back to this restaurant, unless, maybe it was to sit on the patio on a summer afternoon.  

Indigo Landing, you plopped. 

  

3 Comments

Filed under food, restaurant reviews

F-A-T spells fat, fat, fat.

Wow.  John Gosselin may need to join Kevin Federline on Celebrity Fit Club.  And, by celebrity, you know I mean “celebrity.”

a-crying-baby_333x457kevin-federline-fat-1

They’re both fat.  They both cheated.  They were both (well, legally Jon still is) married to bitchy blondes (sorry to put you in the same category as Kate, Brit) who dress poorly and have bad hair and who aren’t the greatest moms and who have been accused of having affairs with people of authority over them (Kate = bodyguard, Britney = manager) and who try to buy their children’s love (candy store shopping sprees and Crooked Houses) and who have alienated their families and who like to parade around in bikinis…

 

PS Boys:  wearing black isn’t helping make you look slimmer.  But, at least it’s not Ed Hardy.

1 Comment

Filed under Annoying People, food, pop culture, Reality TV

Competing with the Kardashians.

It’s an all out war between the Kardashians and MTv for gossip rag coverage this week (at least we’re done with the Gosselins).  For some reason, I blame MTv for the Kardashians in the first place, though I’m not sure why.  A few comments:

  1. I don’t care whether your wedding was real or fake, Khloe.  I don’t need to hear from you that it was.  Or from Lamar.  Or from Kourtney, Kim, or your mom.  Even Brody’s getting into the mix.  Maybe once I hear it from Kylie or Kendall, I’ll believe it.   Maybe.
  2. Kourtney, have this damn baby already. 
  3. Yes, Kim, we know you’re back with Reggie.  And that the love exhibited on Sunday at Khloe’s wedding made you realize just how much you loved him and how much you missed him.  Gag.  Me with a spoon. 
  4. Lauren Conrad has a movie deal for her book LA Candy. Admittedly, I read the first chapter one afternoon when I was hanging out at Barnes and Noble.  Can’t wait to see who they cast.
  5. Kristin Cavallari should not be judgey judgey about Audrina’s plastic surgery (or lack thereof).  She really is a B, as evidenced by her debut on The Hills yesterday.  Wow, who knew that show needed to be revamped?  Or retramped?
  6. And this, this has to be the worst…and on MSNBC, no less! 

Kris Jenner needs to step up her media blasting gig and get her girls in the news with some more varied stories…but, what’s left, really?  (Aside from the impending divorce of Khloe and Lamar and, perhaps, the twist that Scott is not really the father of Kourtney’s baby)

And, while I’m here, can I just put it on the record that

  1. Adrienne Bailon, Cheetah Girl or not, really irks me
  2. Justin Bobby needs to shave immediately
  3. There’s a lot to say about The City, too, but I can’t right now
  4. I don’t understand why everyone on these MTv shows has to have a title (ie “Spencer’s sister,” “Brody’s friend,” “Audrina’s ex-boyfriend”)…why can’t they just be who they are?  Pigeonhole… 

1 Comment

Filed under Annoying People, pop culture, Reality TV, things i don't understand, tv

I have finally found it…

…it being a cupcake that has both delicious, non-overpowering icing and a deliciously moist cake. 

Where, pray tell, did I find this fabulous, perfectly delectable, surprisingly delicious, morsel of goodness?  I am wondering if I should give away the secret…

Ok, fine.  Here:  Buzz Bakery, in Alexandria (thank you, Renea and Graham!). 

I present to you Buzz’s cupcake of the month:

Thanks to Metrocurean.

Thanks to Metrocurean.

Yes, that’s bacon on top.  And bacon crumbled into the peanut butter icing.  That tops the perfectly baked (I cannot emphasize this enough) devil’s food cupcake (and I don’t care that it tasted like Betty Crocker straight from the box.  If it was that, kudos to the baker who baked it to perfection.  If it was, actually, from scratch and still tasted like that, then kudos to the baker who baked it to perfection). 

elvis-presleyI mean, come on.  I know it sounds disgusting.  But that combination was so interesting and such a surprise to your tastebuds that you have no reason but to just revel in its authenticity and uniqueness.   And the flavor.  By God, the flavor.  If a peanut butter and bacon sandwich is good enough for Elvis, a chocolate cupcake with peanut butter and bacon icing is good enough for me.  You like the mixing of savory and sweet (think chocolate covered pretzels, for example)?  Then this is the cupcake for you.  The peanut butter icing, by virtue of its main component, was not too sugary to begin with–which is good, since the cake part took the cake (haha) in the sweet category.  Thus, when you mixed in the bacon it just added a subtlety to the icing.  Don’t get me wrong, the taste of bacon was quite obvious (and happily shocking) but it melded so well with the minimalist peanut butter icing and the cake.  And then on top of the cake in just the right proportion…heaven.

Now, I know Elvis had banana on that sandwich, too.  Josh Short, the baker extraordinaire at Buzz, smartly left that ingredient out.  To include it would have been overkill.  Ha, I’m assuming he even considered including it.  I’d never try to put thoughts into the head of such a phenomenal and creative baker.

Those who know me know I have a slight obsession with the cupcake.  And, I’d like to just throw it out there–while I have a public forum–that I enjoyed a good cupcake well before cupcakeries began popping up on every corner.  Right next to Starbucks.  That being said, I enjoy travelling about town, stopping in on bakeries and the like, trying out their attempts at the individual sized cake.  Because, essentially, what is a cupcake but that?

Anyway, my friend Whitney (a fellow individual min-cake connoisseur) and I sampled a couple (ok, more than a couple) such creations on a recent trip to Georgetown a few weekends ago.  I meant to write a battle of the cupcakes review.   I really did.  But, now, after indulging in this gem today, I think that there is an actual war that is raging in the cupcake world. 

Whitney and I had our first cupcake at Baked and Wired.  We chose and shared a Red Velvet, as that is a favorite of us both.  To say this cupcake was unremarkable would be a compliment.  The cupcake was the opposite of indulgent, and even more the opposite of delicious.   So opposite, in fact, that we each took one bite and decided to share it with the trash receptacle.  The cream cheese frosting was so dense and so sweet that one would wonder if there was any sugar left in the bakery.  There was not even a tinge of the tartness you expect to savor in a cream cheese frosting (and, granted, the ratio of butter to sugar to cream cheese is a difficult one to master.  But, if you’re going to open a bakery?  That is “known” for its cupcakes?  I’d suggest you perfect that one.  Just sayin’.).   Add to that that the cake was dry beyond belief.  It crumbled into teeny, tiny crumbs.  This is an attribute a good cupcake should never possess.  We left Baked and Wired $3 poorer yet hopeful that our next spot would relegate success.

Several hours later we found ourselves standing in line (one that went halfway down the block, in fact) in 90+ degree heat awaiting the nirvana that many claim is Georgetown Cupcake.  Now, our bakers at GC have been featured on the Today Show and on both Rachael Ray and Martha Stewart’s shows.  Owen Wilson has even been known to stop by when he’s in town.  And for good reason.  Their cupcakes are, undoubtedly, tasty.  But, they’re also inconsistent.  I say this because, in my experience, you can go and get the same cupcake three days in a row and it will never taste as it did the day before.  Similar, yes.  But never the same cake texture or flavor consistency.  At least in my experience.

 On this trip, we sampled many flavors of cupcakes, each purchasing six (for ourselves and others, of course).  My mom, who is quite opinionated about food of the sweet variety, claimed that the cupcakes she had (lemon with raspberry icing and vanilla with chocolate icing) were both “very good.”  She made note that the icing was not too sweet and not of an overwhelming amount (as that, for instance, of Cake Love (whose website is as underwhelming as its desserts) or Crumbs) and that the cake was “not dry.”  Usually, she aptly stated, it’s either a great cupcake and horrible icing or an awful cake and fantastic icing.  This, while not great and fantastic, was at least even across the board as good.  Good cake, good icing.  This makes for a good cupcake. 

But, unlike the one I had today at Buzz, the GC cupcakes were not great.   The red velvet, per Whitney, was just cake dyed red (or so it seemed) 

Thanks to U Street Girl's blog for this photo.

Thanks to U Street Girl's blog for this photo.

and did not have the German Chocolate flavor she was expecting (she did say that the version I make myself at home is a million times better.  That’s because I add pureed chocolate chips and cream cheese to the batter.  Sometimes, if I’m feeling extra risky, I throw in a dollop of sour cream.  But enough about that…).  GC’s cream cheese icing was leaps and bounds better than that of Baked and Wired but, again, nothing special.  The chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting and chocolate sprinkles passed the taste test of my two year old pal, William.  He and his parents enjoyed the vanilla on vanilla, the aforementioned chocolate cubed, the red velvet, and the vanilla with chocolate icing.  While they enjoyed them and thanked me for bringing them, not one of them even mentioned how delicious they were until I asked.  I figure, if they were great, I would’ve heard about it immediately.   I will say that, despite the long line full of anxious anticipation, the staff at GC really knows how to get a line moving.  They are very efficient and kind.  They do not seem, either, to make mistakes.  Also, the menu is quite eclectic and the “special” cupcakes change with the season.  Despite the inconsistency, I look forward to stopping by in the fall for a pumpkin spice cupcake.

Since I mentioned them above, I should pay respect to Warren Brown and Cake Love and what, until a few years ago, was the be all end all of cupcakes in this area.  I have given Mr. Brown and his creations three chances…the last of which, actually, was yesterday, when I chose a vanilla cupcake with chocolate icing over a DQ Blizzard.  Bad move.  For the third time, I was disappointed.  With the flavor, with the texture…with everything.  Including the service.  I happened to go to the location that was in the mall.  The employees were rude and hyperactive teenagers who were more interested in acting crazy and loud and–I’m gonna say it–under the influence and who were more interested in talking about hoodies and Forever 21 than they were with even pretending I (and three other people) was in line.  It left a bad taste in my mouth before the cupcake even had a chance to.  Which it did.  No more Cake Love for me.

So, friends, there you have it.  My search for the perfect cupcake, though, is far from over.  I still have many cupcake joints to try in this great city of ours.  And I look forward to doing so.  But at least, now, there is some competition.  Competing with badness and mediocrity is boring.  The rest of these places have their work cut out for them and my tastebuds anxiously anticipate the challenge.  Let the battle of the cupcakes continue.

4 Comments

Filed under food, restaurant reviews, things i like

Hot Dogs, Starfish, Some Great Music, and a Bus to Nowhere.

Disclaimer:  I’m not, nor have I ever considered myself to be, a music critic.  Despite the ten years of [expensive, sorry Mom and Dad] piano lessons and my brief stints at the clarinet and alto clarinet, and my affinity to all things pop, I really know nothing of the subject.  It is for that reason that, while a review of the fabulous concert I went to last night would be interesting and beneficial to my readers, I cannot bring myself to pen one for you.  Instead, I will write about the adventure of it all.  An adventure that included, in no specific order, some delicious food, some good friends, some Metro transportation shenanigans, some annoying 20 something gals, Blackberries, bad accoustics, and, oh yeah, Billy Joel and Elton John. 

Thanks to Arizona Foothills Magazine for the photo.

Thanks to Arizona Foothills Magazine for the photo.

We’ll talk about the food first, because, for once, it’s not going to be the highlight of my post.   We made good on our Saturday Faturday designation.  We had some good stuff all throughout the day.  We started off our girls’ day at Chick Fil A, which we are all very happy to have in the neighborhood (for the record, I played tennis in the morning…time of game irrelevant, it’s quality over quantity, right?).   After some pool time we were able to reconvene for some pre-game snacks.  Lucky for us, the stadium is not lacking in dining choices and, happily, the four of us all managed to incorporate chili and cheese into our dinner choices.  We did not manage to make it to 7-11 for the birthday slurpee (they wouldn’t let me run in to get one while we waited for a cab [that never arrived]).  Ok, fine, we weren’t in the best part of town.  But a slurpee is a slurpee. 

Now on to the show.  I’d love to just devote the rest of this blog to the gaggle of gals who were sitting in front of us.   As an older and more mature member of society, I feel I have the right to be judgey about these girls.  Twenty-two beers between the five of them is not so appalling.  Their behavior and dance moves, however, are another story.  First things first, though:  they all had matching Blackberries and were texting male friends incessantly throughout the concert’s entirety (Christopher K, whoever you are, I’m sorry she kept asking you about pierogies) to meet up with them in Georgetown afterward.  Sorry we couldn’t join them.   They all had matching dance moves, as well.  And by having dance moves I mean not having them.  If cell phone video was transferrable, you all would be in for a treat.   They all also had on similar outfit components.  One of the girls was wearing the same pair of shoes as the girl sitting to her left and the same shirt as the girl sitting to her right(but thankfully not the same sequin adorned khaki shorts).  We couldn’t figure out if they were copying her or if she was the trendsetter. 

The best part of watching them came toward the middle of the show, when Billy Joel sang “Only the Good Die Young.”  The girls went crazy!  We decided they were either former Catholic school girls, that the song was their senior class anthem, or both.  They also really liked “Crocodile Rock” and “The Bitch is Back.”  And you can bet your bottom dollar that they rose and swayed as soon as the Piano Man started playing the first notes of that song.  What better way to convey your friendship?  I can’t think of a better one…

Well, maybe I can.  It’s demonstrating braveness and solidarity and getting on a Metro bus, in a not so good neighborhood, at 11:30 pm, not knowing where you’re going but knowing you can do it together…when neither of you have ever done it, before, alone.  Our Metro bus to nowhere, while an intimidating option, turned out to be the best decision of the evening and was certainly our best ticket out of town.  Surrounded by other forward thinkers, we loaded onto the bus, took our seats, and waited until we recognized a stop name.  Turns out the V8 bus to the Archives is a lifesaver.  We learned a few things on that trip:

  1. We know as much as the next guy.  Don’t listen to the next guy.  He was trying to get us to get off at Archives.  L’Enfant Plaza, dude.  L’Enfant Plaza.
  2. The age when a young man should begin wearing deodorant should be, oh, 10.  And, the smell of tween perspiration on a crowded commuter bus late on a Saturday night is not very pleasant. 
  3. Any street in the Southwest portion of town named after one of the original 13 colonies is not a good one on which to disembark the bus. 

We made it home with no casualties and in a little over two hours.  Conisdering there were tens of thousands of people at this concert, many of whom were heading in the same direction as we were, this is not such a bad thing. 

The concert itself, despite our limited view when our young friends decided to dance it up, was pretty spectacular.  The dueling pianos bit came at the end of the show instead of the beginning.  Why?  Because something was up with Sir Elton’s piano pedals and they had to fix it.  He left the stage in a [unsurprising] tizzy.  Billy Joel played all the favorites, while Elton played some stuff that wasn’t so interesting, especially considering the number of songs and albums from which he had to choose (“Zanzibar,” Elton?  Really?).  He did play a lot of the favorites–“Tiny Dancer” , “Daniel,” and “Your Song,” though.  I can’t be too demanding.

 They both seemed to tire quicker than you’d expect, but considering their ages, they put on a really entertaining show.  The biggest complaint (and it wasn’t just me–the girls were texting about it, too) was that the accoustics were horrible–there was a delay and tremendous amounts of echo.  We found that the best place to enjoy the concert was actually underneath the stairs…kind of like hiding under the bleachers at a football game.  But not.

In case you’re wondering, as I’m sure many of you are, thanks to the jumbotron close ups of the piano keys we were able to see that Billy was not donning a wedding band.

1 Comment

Filed under Annoying People

The Real Brats of NYC

I hate this show.  Yet, I DVR it every week and watch it, cringing the whole time.  I have a lot to say about it, but not the time, so while you wait, anxiously, and wonder just what I have to say about Kelli, PC, Jessie, Camille, Sebastian, and Taylor (the public school girl!), here is a photo montage of the kids…

bravo090713_nycprep_560b

Send me to hell, but these children are more less attractive than they are actually good looking.  Eyeliner, PC?  Jessie’s eyes are too close together.  Kelli is cute but too…I don’t know.  Taylor is SO public school looking–haha, jk; it’s not her looks but her attitude that makes her unattractive.  Sebastian needs a haircut–doesn’t he know the bangs look for boys is out of style?  And Camille.  Poor, poor Camille.  As someone who shall remain nameless said, in words a bit harsher, “Camille looks like she has a genetic disorder.”

4 Comments

Filed under Annoying People, Reality TV, Uncategorized

If she wasn’t annoying enough already…

Watch this and see Dina and Tommy Manzo’s trip down the aisle (and all that preceded it).  real-housewives-nj4

I just watched.  And, at the request of my pal CAH, took some notes.  Here they are.  Just because.

  • Casanova owner of a catering company?  WTF does that even mean? 
  • The biggest, baddest wedding in the history of New Jersey?  Come.  On. 
  • “[wwwaaaahhhh] I just want to make it nice, but it’s going to be obnoxious. “  Of course it’s going to be obnoxious just by virtue of Dina being the bride and they being a loud and brash [New Jersey] family.
  • Dina, did you just admit that Tommy cheated on you twice?!  His “I was not a good boy” excuse is not cute (and neither is he, fyi).  Twice in five years?  Haven’t you read HJNTIY?  But good for you (I guess?) for saying, “AND THAT IS WHY HE’S PAYING FOR IT NOW.”
  • $1000 a pop for centerpieces.  Wow.  No flower is worth that.  Especially ugly ones. 
  • HAHAHA, of course Tommy has a yellow Ferrari and feels the need to peel out of his own driveway. 
  • He’s a workaholic.  He’s not helping.  He refuses to give you a minute of his time.  But he does give you carte blanche in terms of spending…LOOK INTO THE FUTURE, Dina.  Money can’t buy you love (no matter what Ronnie Miller may have taught you in the 80s, when Tommy was your sister’s brother in law and was ogling you, even though he was old and you were a teenager).
  • Why does Tommy work more than Al?  This doesn’t seem like a fair partnership. 
  • Dina’s decorating inspiration for the wedding is a Jay Strongwater jeweled butterfly?   Better than a red eyed owl.  These buowltterflies are $500 a pop and she wants one for every guest. 
  • Ugh, stupid Kleinfelds.
  • “It’s a lot of fun shopping for a gown without a budget.”  Ok, who really calls them wedding gowns?  I’m pretty sure most normal people still call them wedding dresses.  At least in casual conversation.  But, I’m not a bride, what do I know?  And who goes in expecting to spend $20K on a dress?! 
  • Caroline has chunked OUT since Dina got married.  Maybe it’s the guilt she feels for letting her sister marry a skeevy workaholic cheater [albeit her brother-in-law].
  • HAHAHA they have a sister named Cookie.
  • “The one” is HIDEOUS.  It’s like a sweater and a skirt.  Badgley Mischka so what?
  • She wants her cake to be big and fabulous.  Much like her hair (big, not fabulous).  And her bubbies (big, not fabulous).  I see a trend here…
  • She wants the layers of her cake fat…and loaded with butterflies and turtles and all kinds of good stuff.  Gold balls.  Bigger than any wedding cake anyone has ever seen. 
  • She takes an entourage every where she goes.  Who does she think she is?  Oh yeah, Dina Manzo, daughter in law to be of a mobster.  Oh yeah, I said it.
  • Photocopies of the invitations?  Awesome.  Faxing out invites.  Even more awesome.  625 guests.  “At this point, what difference does it make?”
  • Dina, you’re a nervous wreck because of the cost?!  You’re not paying for it, Dina.  Tommy is.  And, cut costs.  Don’t get the biggest wedding cake in the history of the world.  Or $1000 flower arrangements (625 people.  12 people per table.  Roughly 50 tables).  Plus an estimated half million for the rest of the flowers.  Or a $10,000 dress.   Orchestra, two different bands?  That’s $77,000.  Bottles of wine that run $1000 each?!   Sell one of your five Ferraris, Tommy.
  • “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” is her walking down the aisle song.  Enough said.  How bout some circus music?  Since this is such a chaotic mess. 
  • AAACCCKKK!  What is that bouquet?!  It is not beautiful, Dina.  It looks like a weeping willow (which, don’t get me wrong, is beautiful.  As. A. Tree.). 
  • “Tommy was being a little insensitive to my feelings,” she says.  Dina, here’s a wake up call.  This isn’t the first time he’s been insensitive (cheater alert).  If I’ve learned anything in this life I’ve lived so far, it’s that behavior is consistent.  Especially bad behavior. 
  • “I hope he shows.”  Um, another thing you don’t need to be saying on the day of your wedding.
  • Why is there a police motorcade with the limos? 
  • Release the doves!  Go party!
  • Ha, they’re fighting before they are even introduced to their 600 guests.  Because he wants to check out the tent.  Because, as a catering phenom and owner of The Brownstone, he’s never seen one before.   
  • “We’re starting out on the wrong foot,” she says.  You put that wrong foot down by not putting your foot down, Dina.  Burn.
  • Whoa, the cake explodes! 
  • “I will never say you can do whatever you want again,” says Tommy.  But I, on the other hand, am always allowed. 
  • Who goes around, ever, telling people how much their jewelry is worth, much less at their own wedding???
  • Don’t get me wrong, I love a chocolate fountain…but it seems a bit déclassé for the Manzos.
  • Um, the ass grab at the end was a bit unnecessary.  I don’t care that she’s your wife. 

3 Comments

Filed under Annoying People, Reality TV, things i don't understand