Tag Archives: Bravo

The Real Brats of NYC

I hate this show.  Yet, I DVR it every week and watch it, cringing the whole time.  I have a lot to say about it, but not the time, so while you wait, anxiously, and wonder just what I have to say about Kelli, PC, Jessie, Camille, Sebastian, and Taylor (the public school girl!), here is a photo montage of the kids…

bravo090713_nycprep_560b

Send me to hell, but these children are more less attractive than they are actually good looking.  Eyeliner, PC?  Jessie’s eyes are too close together.  Kelli is cute but too…I don’t know.  Taylor is SO public school looking–haha, jk; it’s not her looks but her attitude that makes her unattractive.  Sebastian needs a haircut–doesn’t he know the bangs look for boys is out of style?  And Camille.  Poor, poor Camille.  As someone who shall remain nameless said, in words a bit harsher, “Camille looks like she has a genetic disorder.”

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Filed under Annoying People, Reality TV, Uncategorized

If she wasn’t annoying enough already…

Watch this and see Dina and Tommy Manzo’s trip down the aisle (and all that preceded it).  real-housewives-nj4

I just watched.  And, at the request of my pal CAH, took some notes.  Here they are.  Just because.

  • Casanova owner of a catering company?  WTF does that even mean? 
  • The biggest, baddest wedding in the history of New Jersey?  Come.  On. 
  • “[wwwaaaahhhh] I just want to make it nice, but it’s going to be obnoxious. “  Of course it’s going to be obnoxious just by virtue of Dina being the bride and they being a loud and brash [New Jersey] family.
  • Dina, did you just admit that Tommy cheated on you twice?!  His “I was not a good boy” excuse is not cute (and neither is he, fyi).  Twice in five years?  Haven’t you read HJNTIY?  But good for you (I guess?) for saying, “AND THAT IS WHY HE’S PAYING FOR IT NOW.”
  • $1000 a pop for centerpieces.  Wow.  No flower is worth that.  Especially ugly ones. 
  • HAHAHA, of course Tommy has a yellow Ferrari and feels the need to peel out of his own driveway. 
  • He’s a workaholic.  He’s not helping.  He refuses to give you a minute of his time.  But he does give you carte blanche in terms of spending…LOOK INTO THE FUTURE, Dina.  Money can’t buy you love (no matter what Ronnie Miller may have taught you in the 80s, when Tommy was your sister’s brother in law and was ogling you, even though he was old and you were a teenager).
  • Why does Tommy work more than Al?  This doesn’t seem like a fair partnership. 
  • Dina’s decorating inspiration for the wedding is a Jay Strongwater jeweled butterfly?   Better than a red eyed owl.  These buowltterflies are $500 a pop and she wants one for every guest. 
  • Ugh, stupid Kleinfelds.
  • “It’s a lot of fun shopping for a gown without a budget.”  Ok, who really calls them wedding gowns?  I’m pretty sure most normal people still call them wedding dresses.  At least in casual conversation.  But, I’m not a bride, what do I know?  And who goes in expecting to spend $20K on a dress?! 
  • Caroline has chunked OUT since Dina got married.  Maybe it’s the guilt she feels for letting her sister marry a skeevy workaholic cheater [albeit her brother-in-law].
  • HAHAHA they have a sister named Cookie.
  • “The one” is HIDEOUS.  It’s like a sweater and a skirt.  Badgley Mischka so what?
  • She wants her cake to be big and fabulous.  Much like her hair (big, not fabulous).  And her bubbies (big, not fabulous).  I see a trend here…
  • She wants the layers of her cake fat…and loaded with butterflies and turtles and all kinds of good stuff.  Gold balls.  Bigger than any wedding cake anyone has ever seen. 
  • She takes an entourage every where she goes.  Who does she think she is?  Oh yeah, Dina Manzo, daughter in law to be of a mobster.  Oh yeah, I said it.
  • Photocopies of the invitations?  Awesome.  Faxing out invites.  Even more awesome.  625 guests.  “At this point, what difference does it make?”
  • Dina, you’re a nervous wreck because of the cost?!  You’re not paying for it, Dina.  Tommy is.  And, cut costs.  Don’t get the biggest wedding cake in the history of the world.  Or $1000 flower arrangements (625 people.  12 people per table.  Roughly 50 tables).  Plus an estimated half million for the rest of the flowers.  Or a $10,000 dress.   Orchestra, two different bands?  That’s $77,000.  Bottles of wine that run $1000 each?!   Sell one of your five Ferraris, Tommy.
  • “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” is her walking down the aisle song.  Enough said.  How bout some circus music?  Since this is such a chaotic mess. 
  • AAACCCKKK!  What is that bouquet?!  It is not beautiful, Dina.  It looks like a weeping willow (which, don’t get me wrong, is beautiful.  As. A. Tree.). 
  • “Tommy was being a little insensitive to my feelings,” she says.  Dina, here’s a wake up call.  This isn’t the first time he’s been insensitive (cheater alert).  If I’ve learned anything in this life I’ve lived so far, it’s that behavior is consistent.  Especially bad behavior. 
  • “I hope he shows.”  Um, another thing you don’t need to be saying on the day of your wedding.
  • Why is there a police motorcade with the limos? 
  • Release the doves!  Go party!
  • Ha, they’re fighting before they are even introduced to their 600 guests.  Because he wants to check out the tent.  Because, as a catering phenom and owner of The Brownstone, he’s never seen one before.   
  • “We’re starting out on the wrong foot,” she says.  You put that wrong foot down by not putting your foot down, Dina.  Burn.
  • Whoa, the cake explodes! 
  • “I will never say you can do whatever you want again,” says Tommy.  But I, on the other hand, am always allowed. 
  • Who goes around, ever, telling people how much their jewelry is worth, much less at their own wedding???
  • Don’t get me wrong, I love a chocolate fountain…but it seems a bit déclassé for the Manzos.
  • Um, the ass grab at the end was a bit unnecessary.  I don’t care that she’s your wife. 

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Filed under Annoying People, Reality TV, things i don't understand

Thick as Thieves

What does this phrase–repeated again in preview after preview of RH-NJ and finally uttered, for real, last night–even mean?  I know it means that the “thieves” are all close.  But what is the origin?  And did Caroline Manzo, with her emphatic uttering of the idiom in last night’s season finale, bring it back into the American lexicon?  Are we going to all start going around, defending our friendships and our other relationships saying this? 

I did a little internet research to get a better grip on where this came from…and then realized it wasn’t all that important.  What was important is that the fourth installment of Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise had come to an end in what could possibly be the most volatile episode to date.  I was cringing as I sat on the couch watching.  From the moment Danielle pulled Cop Without a Badge from her bag and put it on the table, I knew there would be t-r-o-u-b-l-e.  Did she not know who she was dealing with at that point? 

I was honestly a bit surprised by Caroline’s willingness to hear Danielle out–her persistent shushing of her sister Dina was a bit of a shock…until I understood her ulterior motives.  I’m still not certain who the real culprit was, the housewife who took the book all through town, ending her “book tour” at the infamous Chateau (where anyone who is anyone goes to get her hair done). 

Some things to take away from last night’s episode:

  1. Wow, Teresa.  Get a few [more than usual] glasses of wine in you and you are a little spitfire.  Knocking over a table?!  Yelling “prostitution whore” at Danielle?  Dropping the F word as if you’re trying to get credit for knowing its use?  Awesome.  I will say that, despite the chaos and drama that was obviously ensuing, I was surprised that she took a moment to make sure Gia et al. were taken out of the room.  PS, who was that woman who took them away? 
  2. The other kids, though, got to stay and watch the scene first hand.  Danielle’s kids, though they knew the story (because they have such an awesome relationship with their mom!  And she tells them everything!) are going to be really messed up when they grow up.  Mark my words.
  3. I did not get the whole “I want to throw a housewarming party but my house isn’t ready, so let’s rent out a restaurant and invite my friends and family” thing.  Teresa?  Just throw a damn dinner party, then. 
  4. What was the smell in the Guidice “wine cellar”?  It must’ve been bad if Dina, who you usually can’t get to shut up and would wax poetic about anything, had to leave because it caused her to not be able to talk.
  5. Danielle:  not sure what part of showing your kids pictures from your “hedonistic” modeling days was a good idea.  See “messed up when they grow up” comment above.
  6. Not sure who is going to come and attack Caroline in the middle of the night while her husband burns the midnight oil at The Brownstone.  But good thing she has that attack dog Just In Case.  Hopefully her bright daughter knows enough to stay away from him.
  7. The flaunting of the Victoria’s Secret gift at the restaurant was awesome.  As was the discussion at the dinner table (in front of all the children) about Teresa’s new enhancements and her juicy and delicious husband, Joe’s, appetite.  And not his appetite for Italian food (which is, obviously, also large and insatiable).
  8. I was pretty impressed that Jacqueline strayed from the other thieves and sided with Danielle.  I lost count as to how many times Jacqueline called Dina a liar.   I was also impressed with the way she and Chris approached the car situation with Ashley (ignoring the fact that Ashley is a bit spoiled…though what child on that show is not?). 

I guess that is all I have to say (or can remember) to say.  I will miss these brash and brazen women and look forward to the shenanigans that will surely transgress during next week’s reunion.  large_caroline

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Filed under Annoying People, Reality TV