If she wasn’t annoying enough already…

Watch this and see Dina and Tommy Manzo’s trip down the aisle (and all that preceded it).  real-housewives-nj4

I just watched.  And, at the request of my pal CAH, took some notes.  Here they are.  Just because.

  • Casanova owner of a catering company?  WTF does that even mean? 
  • The biggest, baddest wedding in the history of New Jersey?  Come.  On. 
  • “[wwwaaaahhhh] I just want to make it nice, but it’s going to be obnoxious. “  Of course it’s going to be obnoxious just by virtue of Dina being the bride and they being a loud and brash [New Jersey] family.
  • Dina, did you just admit that Tommy cheated on you twice?!  His “I was not a good boy” excuse is not cute (and neither is he, fyi).  Twice in five years?  Haven’t you read HJNTIY?  But good for you (I guess?) for saying, “AND THAT IS WHY HE’S PAYING FOR IT NOW.”
  • $1000 a pop for centerpieces.  Wow.  No flower is worth that.  Especially ugly ones. 
  • HAHAHA, of course Tommy has a yellow Ferrari and feels the need to peel out of his own driveway. 
  • He’s a workaholic.  He’s not helping.  He refuses to give you a minute of his time.  But he does give you carte blanche in terms of spending…LOOK INTO THE FUTURE, Dina.  Money can’t buy you love (no matter what Ronnie Miller may have taught you in the 80s, when Tommy was your sister’s brother in law and was ogling you, even though he was old and you were a teenager).
  • Why does Tommy work more than Al?  This doesn’t seem like a fair partnership. 
  • Dina’s decorating inspiration for the wedding is a Jay Strongwater jeweled butterfly?   Better than a red eyed owl.  These buowltterflies are $500 a pop and she wants one for every guest. 
  • Ugh, stupid Kleinfelds.
  • “It’s a lot of fun shopping for a gown without a budget.”  Ok, who really calls them wedding gowns?  I’m pretty sure most normal people still call them wedding dresses.  At least in casual conversation.  But, I’m not a bride, what do I know?  And who goes in expecting to spend $20K on a dress?! 
  • Caroline has chunked OUT since Dina got married.  Maybe it’s the guilt she feels for letting her sister marry a skeevy workaholic cheater [albeit her brother-in-law].
  • HAHAHA they have a sister named Cookie.
  • “The one” is HIDEOUS.  It’s like a sweater and a skirt.  Badgley Mischka so what?
  • She wants her cake to be big and fabulous.  Much like her hair (big, not fabulous).  And her bubbies (big, not fabulous).  I see a trend here…
  • She wants the layers of her cake fat…and loaded with butterflies and turtles and all kinds of good stuff.  Gold balls.  Bigger than any wedding cake anyone has ever seen. 
  • She takes an entourage every where she goes.  Who does she think she is?  Oh yeah, Dina Manzo, daughter in law to be of a mobster.  Oh yeah, I said it.
  • Photocopies of the invitations?  Awesome.  Faxing out invites.  Even more awesome.  625 guests.  “At this point, what difference does it make?”
  • Dina, you’re a nervous wreck because of the cost?!  You’re not paying for it, Dina.  Tommy is.  And, cut costs.  Don’t get the biggest wedding cake in the history of the world.  Or $1000 flower arrangements (625 people.  12 people per table.  Roughly 50 tables).  Plus an estimated half million for the rest of the flowers.  Or a $10,000 dress.   Orchestra, two different bands?  That’s $77,000.  Bottles of wine that run $1000 each?!   Sell one of your five Ferraris, Tommy.
  • “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” is her walking down the aisle song.  Enough said.  How bout some circus music?  Since this is such a chaotic mess. 
  • AAACCCKKK!  What is that bouquet?!  It is not beautiful, Dina.  It looks like a weeping willow (which, don’t get me wrong, is beautiful.  As. A. Tree.). 
  • “Tommy was being a little insensitive to my feelings,” she says.  Dina, here’s a wake up call.  This isn’t the first time he’s been insensitive (cheater alert).  If I’ve learned anything in this life I’ve lived so far, it’s that behavior is consistent.  Especially bad behavior. 
  • “I hope he shows.”  Um, another thing you don’t need to be saying on the day of your wedding.
  • Why is there a police motorcade with the limos? 
  • Release the doves!  Go party!
  • Ha, they’re fighting before they are even introduced to their 600 guests.  Because he wants to check out the tent.  Because, as a catering phenom and owner of The Brownstone, he’s never seen one before.   
  • “We’re starting out on the wrong foot,” she says.  You put that wrong foot down by not putting your foot down, Dina.  Burn.
  • Whoa, the cake explodes! 
  • “I will never say you can do whatever you want again,” says Tommy.  But I, on the other hand, am always allowed. 
  • Who goes around, ever, telling people how much their jewelry is worth, much less at their own wedding???
  • Don’t get me wrong, I love a chocolate fountain…but it seems a bit déclassé for the Manzos.
  • Um, the ass grab at the end was a bit unnecessary.  I don’t care that she’s your wife. 
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3 Comments

Filed under Annoying People, Reality TV, things i don't understand

3 responses to “If she wasn’t annoying enough already…

  1. Laurie

    Also:
    1) Aren’t they Italian? Why the bagpipers then?
    2) Breakfast at the reception? Did it go all night?
    3) Gee, I wonder why he wouldn’t want to by on RHNJ after such a great profile of him on this show.

  2. Christine

    Her bouquet was one of the UGLIEST things I have ever seen in my life. Agreed about Caroline porking the pounds on since then. On the upside I did find Lexi to be pretty cute.

  3. Laura

    Ok, you’ve got me. I’ll be hopping on the RHNJ bandwagon now.

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