Competing with the Kardashians.

It’s an all out war between the Kardashians and MTv for gossip rag coverage this week (at least we’re done with the Gosselins).  For some reason, I blame MTv for the Kardashians in the first place, though I’m not sure why.  A few comments:

1. I don’t care whether your wedding was real or fake, Khloe.  I don’t need to hear from you that it was.  Or from Lamar.  Or from Kourtney, Kim, or your mom.  Even Brody’s getting into the mix.  Maybe once I hear it from Kylie or Kendall, I’ll believe it.   Maybe.
2. Kourtney, have this damn baby already. 
3. Yes, Kim, we know you’re back with Reggie.  And that the love exhibited on Sunday at Khloe’s wedding made you realize just how much you loved him and how much you missed him.  Gag.  Me with a spoon. 
4. Lauren Conrad has a movie deal for her book LA Candy. Admittedly, I read the first chapter one afternoon when I was hanging out at Barnes and Noble.  Can’t wait to see who they cast.
5. Kristin Cavallari should not be judgey judgey about Audrina’s plastic surgery (or lack thereof).  She really is a B, as evidenced by her debut on The Hills yesterday.  Wow, who knew that show needed to be revamped?  Or retramped?
6. And this, this has to be the worst…and on MSNBC, no less! 

Kris Jenner needs to step up her media blasting gig and get her girls in the news with some more varied stories…but, what’s left, really?  (Aside from the impending divorce of Khloe and Lamar and, perhaps, the twist that Scott is not really the father of Kourtney’s baby)

And, while I’m here, can I just put it on the record that

1. Adrienne Bailon, Cheetah Girl or not, really irks me
2. Justin Bobby needs to shave immediately
3. There’s a lot to say about The City, too, but I can’t right now
4. I don’t understand why everyone on these MTv shows has to have a title (ie “Spencer’s sister,” “Brody’s friend,” “Audrina’s ex-boyfriend”)…why can’t they just be who they are?  Pigeonhole… 

Dear Medical Examiner Who Conducted DJ AM’s Autopsy

Dear Medical Examiner,

An accidental overdose?  Really?  Do you think we’re stupid?  I just don’t understand how getting to the point where the drugs in your system are so varied as to be labeled a cocktail can be seen as anything other than on purpose.  How is having cocaine, OxyContin, Hydrocodone, Xanax and Ativan, Klonopin, Benadryl, and Levamisole all in your system at the same time be an accident?  As a seasoned drug addict (I am not being disparaging of DJ AM, I am just stating a fact), he should have known better.  That is some cocktail, there. 

I understand the desire of his family to  hold DJ AM’s name and memory in high esteem.  I get that.  But how is an accidental overdose verdict going to accomplish that?  Knowing he had all of those drugs in his system–dude, in his possession–is proof of how powerful addiction can be.  Being sober all those years was a tremendous accomplishment.  But there was something–the plane crash, his alleged breakup with his girlfriend or, hell, just life–that caused DJ AM to fall back into old habits.  I am not sure that “officially” stating the cause of death as an accidental overdose is actually going to make people believe that’s what really happened.  Oh, he had too much Xanax.  Or too much cocaine.  The fact of the matter is, any amount is too much for someone who has exhibited an addiction to such substances in the past. 

Calling this an “accidental overdose” is kind of like saying people who died of emphysema died from accidentally smoking.  Of course it’s an accident.  But it’s an accident based in purpose.   He knew that combination could be deadly.  How could he not?  Any combination of drugs is deadly.  Potentially, any drug on its own is deadly.  I remember when the policemen came to talk to us in elementary school.

I know that leaving out the “accidental” means it was “on purpose” which, pretty much, says  it was a suicide.  And that’s something that is hard to deal with, hard to understand, for those who loved and admired him.  Even for those who didn’t even know him.  It’s sad to hear things like this–a life taken away from us too soon and without warning. 

But our sadness, in itself, is selfish.  And that selfishness compounds the need to wrap our heads and our hearts around what happened…it’s that selfishness that makes concluding something is an accident the easy thing to do.   I’m not saying (and have no authority to say) that it was suicide, but was it really an accident?  Is there anything in between?

 He had eight OxyContin pills in his stomach, one still in his mouth.  This is in addition to everything else that was going through his bloodstream at the same time.  How is consuming all of that badness an accident?  He may not have meant to die, but he meant to use the way he did.  He was alone, no one–except his demons–forced him to do so.  The use of the word accident, here, is clearly a misnomer. 

I know there was probably pressure on you.  And I’m sure that you did all that you could, used all your medical examiner knowledge and experience, when coming to your conclusion.  But I really think you’re doing a disservice.  Yes, accidents happen.  But this, to me, is not the definition of an accident.

Of course, this is just my opinion.

La

Taking from my childhood isn’t cool. Or is it?

I was perusing www.textsfromlastnight.com earlier and noticed (how could I miss it?) an American Apparel ad for what they were calling thermochromatic shirts (because, obviously, that is a very intellectual sounding description that plays to the intended audience).  Hipster boys and girls throughout the land (I’m talking to you, NYC Prep kids, and all of your cronies), back in the 80s (you know, that decade you so wish you were a part of so, now, you’re pretending like it’s back!  With a vengeance!), these were called “hypercolor” t-shirts.  And they were all the rage.   

You know what was fun?  To wear them when it was hot outside and let your body heat change the colors.  That was rad!  Or run up behind your little brother and give him a two handed full press push.  Now, it appears as though the “cool” way to get these shirts to do their magic is to wear one and proceed to be fondled by a fellow hipster of the opposite sex (or, an androgynous looking one of the same sex, whatever is easier). 

So, since I was already there, I looked around the American Apparel site a little more.  At the risk of sounding like an old geezer stick in the mud, I am going to say that even looking at these models annoyed me.  Do they think they look cool in their shiny Members Only style jackets?  (Speaking of, is a real Members Only jacket considered vintage?  Because it’s from the 80s?  I’m from the 70s and, while I feel old, I am far from vintage.)  They pride themselves on being hip (go figure) and original, but you know they’re sporting those jackets with a pair of Uggs.  And a skirt.  In the summer.

And OMG, who would’ve thought that clicking the link to view something as innocent as leggings (really, really ugly leggings) would elicit a sliding montage that had some NSFW models?!  Yikes! 

These fashion choices that litter the American Apparel website were “cool” back when I was a mere tyke because, well, there weren’t any other choices.  There are so many choices now, why go with the Jazzercise reminiscent bodysuit (we called them leotards and we wore them to gymnastics and ballet) that would make even make Olivia Newton John cringe?  Is it wrong that I just don’t see the appeal in this whole, for lack of a better word, movement?  I may be wrong, but I feel like when you try hard to look like you’re not trying hard, when you have the I don’t care/laissez faire attitude emblazoned on your unsmiling face (PC, do you hear me?), you’re portraying quite the opposite.  You are being contrary! 

And I guess it doesn’t make me any better but, yes, frankly, I would rather throw on a Banana t-shirt, a pair of Lucky jeans, my Rainbow flip flops, and look just like everyone else I know.  In a world of hipsters trying to be different and original, my attempt at being the same and unoriginal, in fact, makes me different.  So let’s call it a day.  A cute outfit, non-pretentious, well-dressed day, no less. 

Things I don’t care about.

Ugh, these are some of today’s entertainment headlines:

1. Kendra Wilkinson:  I Won’t Watch Jon & Kate Anymore.  Oooh, Kendra!  Maybe Kate will retaiate by never watching Kendra.  Haha, like she would (or anyone else does).
2. Jessica Simpson Works Out After Split  Or, she just works out.  As usual. 
3. Barack Obama Defends His Jeans  Haha, really?  Did Meredith Viera really ask him about his jeans? 
4. Chris Brown Apologizes for Beating Rihanna  How many months later?
5. Kate Gosselin Takes the Twins Shopping  What happened to the moratorium on all things Gosselin?

In this economy…

I know there are a lot of people out there who are looking for jobs, whether because they were recently let go from theirs or because they are looking for a change.   One of my nerdy hobbies is helping people write resumes (I think career counselor may have been my true calling).  As you all know, writing a resume also generally comes hand in hand with writing a cover letter.

I recently was helping someone to do just that.  Since I felt a little rusty in the cover letter area, I thought I’d brush up by going online and reading some examples.  Some websites, like jobsearch.com, had well-written and useful examples; I also found that college career center websites were of help, too.  However, in my research, I found quite an appalling site.  You’d think, going to www.resumecoverletterexamples.com, that you had hit the jackpot.  The opening page is well-written and promises  that you will find hundreds of resume cover letter examples.  It claims to be “the perfect place” if you are on a search for a cover letter example. 

It all goes downhill from there.  The owner/creator of the site must’ve gotten bored and/or tired after completing the taxing job of creating the website and describing its purpose.  At that point, it appears as though this individual thought, “Hey, maybe I can outsource this to someone who doesn’t speak English as their native language!  Maybe I will just have that person write all the example cover letters!”

Here is just one example.  Looking for a job as an elementary school teacher?  I do not suggest sending this as your cover letter (which, as other sites will tell you, is your chance to make a first, and lasting, impression):

Dear Mr. Richardson,

As per your ad on internet that you will have first grade vacancies, I am applying for a teaching position at the elementary level. Please see my resume. I completed my teaching in third grade. My certification will be in both early childhood (PK-3) and elementary education (1-6).Because of my interest in higher studies, after this summer I will begin study on a Master’s in Reading degree.

As I always heard about your school, so I am ready to do work in your school at any time. I like hard work and always ready for helping others. I like to teach students and guide them to find success. I want my students always on top place and are full of meaningful experience, interesting learning that applies to their lives. I believe that this can be achieved through cooperative learning, meaningful activities, new technologies and internet also.

I am waiting for your call to decide our meeting timing. I would like to discuss about your school’s goals and how I can help in your goals.

Thank you for reading my resume and consideration

I have no more words.